I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
