I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
my liver is dry heaving
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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