Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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