O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
