Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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