I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
