i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
