I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Even my vagina gasped.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
