you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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