if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
