Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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