omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
