direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
