She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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