the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
