Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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