My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
