I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize