so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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