Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
