So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
