yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
How external is "for external use only"?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
