How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
