in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
