This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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