About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize