youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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