I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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