just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
