the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
