Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
