Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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