We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize