I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
wow bdsm is so cute
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
