i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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