She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
