Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
