i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
