Dual....:-)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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