splinters make it hard to masturbate
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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