If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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