Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
