drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
