some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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