At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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