Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
