Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize