I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
