Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
