How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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