Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
