They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
