You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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