dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There's always time for handjobs
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
is it fun? or sober?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
