It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
