What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
