I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
