we have officially lost it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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