dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
