i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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