I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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