U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
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