Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
