She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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